I wonder if a man like the Daddy in Kendra's article I last posted exists. It seems like it would be a lot of work to be a Daddy; to be that consistent, caring and earnest.
I've enjoyed some on-line Daddy's but it seems that approaching a relationship looking for a Daddy is almost like putting the cart before the horse. For me personally, I want intimate emotional involvement, and how does that come without getting to know one another? How can a Daddy care when he doesn't know you? Why would he care?
Yet trying to arrange this kind of involvement in reverse ( meeting someone and hoping they can adapt to the Daddy idea, is a recipe for disaster.)
I wonder if I expect too much in hoping to have the kind of involvement Kendra spoke of.
So far, for me, the majority of Daddy wanna-be's are really just interested in sex and think that precluding it with a spanking makes them a Daddy figure. Hardly!
I've had some major disappointments as well; mostly due to Daddy's I like and enjoy talking to are too who are too far away. I had one who was actively involved in getting to know me online and I felt quite encouraged by it. We met for a nice, long lunch and came back to my place, where we continued an interesting dialogue. After having a spanking session with him, which really wasn't adequate ( including my desire to thank him with some oral attention - which left me disappointed with his incredibly small endowment), he informed me he would be out of town on business shortly - and I never heard from him again. Coward.
I am have major issues around my size. I weigh 280 lbs @ 5'8". So I don't have a lil girl body with a cute little tush. It makes me very self conscious in regards to this role, and I imagine it's not enjoyed as much by the Dom either. I am honest and upfront about it, as with all things, but I imagine it plays a role in my discomfort in allowing this kind of involvement to happen.
I guess I'm too fussy on a lot of levels. I crave the dominance of a caring male and yet as an independent, assertive, self supporting female, I don't submit easily or casually. But with a Daddy I care about (and there have been a few - but sadly, nothing that turned in to a real time involvement), I am more than willing to do as He asks.
I like being accountable to Him.
I have a hard time believing however, that there is a male out there who is intelligent and caring enough, who walks his talk and lives his life with integrity. Conversely, when I see someone who appears to have these traits, then suddenly, I fell incredibly inadequate.
This quest for a Daddy certainly has me examining every part of who I am.
I know one of the greatest appeals of this dynamic, is the idea of being coddled. Something I never received as a child ( and didn't really allow either). There is hole in my psyche where the need to feel special exists. Being Daddy's princess.
It also brings up a lot of issues around femininity; as I am a bit of a Tomboy - don't own a dress or skirt and haven't worn either in over a decade - so I didn't fit the lil girl part on many levels. Basically it's the emotional part of me that craves it. It's the psychological aspect of this type of involvement that holds the greatest appeal.
Also, and ultimately, I can't deny how arousing the concept is. I have read so many stories/blogs etc on the Daddy/lil girl dynamic and it always leaves me wanting. I get so aroused reading about spankings, delayed punishment, being chastised/scolded. I need to find some way to incorporate that into a relationship without having a rigid D/s involvement.
My hope is to use this blog to work all this out and get it out of my head and on 'paper' so I can work with it.
I know I'm resisting any relationships or involvements at present as I deal with some medical/personal issues. I hope the day comes soon when I am clear on what I want and am able to find/attract it.
For now it's a fantasy - wishful thinking. But one has to start somewhere.
One day I hope to have a Daddy to dote on, who is proud of his lil girl and her growth through his firm, loving guidance. Sigh!
3 comments:
Hi again. I was just perusing your blog and decided to direct you to another blog entry that I felt was a little relevant: http://littlegirlyone.blogspot.com/2008/11/appeal-of-littleness.html
You might have read it already...
I must say that with regards to size or a general appearance fitting the normal "image" of what a little girl, or Daddy's little girl should be, just don't lose sight of the fact that the psychological experience should be most important. In my opinion at least, so I do hope you won't waste your time with men who don't understand this. If it were me, I would find the fact that you have the desire to BE Daddy's little girl incredible sexy alone. It might take some time to find a person who is not confused or put off by your image not fitting exactly that of a "little girl" but of course it's worth the extra time. I truly hope at some point in your blog experience you find a person who you can lose yourself in. =)
I feel much too lucky already having someone with which to explore my innermost desires. If He weren't in my life, I would have no idea where to look.
And, I must say, your description of the little rendezvous with the guy you met online sounds quite appalling and unsatisfying, haha. You live, you learn ;)
Hello. I'm a brat too. My Dom is endevouring to change that though. I'm sure that you will find 'your Daddy' they do exist and they are out there (somewhere)! Don't give up hope. Great blog by the way.
Remember not to over romanticize it too much. There are trials and tribulations to go through with all the good moments that you are hoping for. It can happen but you have to be reasonable also. Real life happens.
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